standing in the poison aisle

so ..

really really sick.

and did you fucking think .. that you could act like a fucking normal person and give a fuck about how i feel?
no?
well ok, so this is what imma say after a while..

"thing is, i get that you need time to think and everything, but sometimes in order not to hurt the other person's feelings, you've gotta rack your brain and try to say something. " because now i regret writing to you at all.
i mean you took fucking two months to get back, and its not like i cared. but what if i did?
no one can send you anything you don't want to read.
you've got to control every situation?

how am i supposed to take things easy if i'm stretched to the limit.

i replied almost a week ago. and i wrote on wednesday. it's just not fair to do this.

if i haven't got a reply by wednesday, i'm going to stop checking. i'll check a week at a time, if i can. or at least 3 days at a time.

i think it's cruel.

''you've had three months to think, about the things i said. i don't understand why i don't get a reply for ages. but it's ok, i can't check anymore. it's too late.''

..
really don't know .. what to write now. but i can't do a repeat of last year, in any case. sitting around and thinking about this stuff.
not saying the results would be the same, but .. it just feels like sitting around is not a good idea when it comes to these things.

can't buy relief.