a loving letter (i'm still owed something)

i drink my drink, alone, awake, scared on the bed.
thinking, what might, had been, if things had been different.
if i, had been, as normal as them.

but why, am i, then one feeling shame.
but why, am i, the one feeling bad, every time your date gose through years.
what happend, that night, that date, that made your heart feel so ached.
what'd i miss,
it was night,
you got your waste,
you had your heart filled with sadness,
those dying tears
you had my number,
you pressed call,
you told me you were tired,
tonight i'm gonna end it all.

and maybe you were right
i've been wasting, my days
i've been wasting, my moments, away
but lately i've been thinking,
about those lips, about your skin
and latey i've been thinking,
about those memories, about those Days
and even tho i can't stand, to live Another moment, without you here
it's not that bad, it's not that clear

but every time, i'm walking home, i'm crossing roads
i Dream of the car, i wish for the end
For all those lights, to shut down early
i Think of your body, right next to mine
as we whisper, those lovey Days
i Think i need get rid, of all those Dreams, of all that shame

you said you were drunk, you felt the blame
you cried alone, i drove away
i never told, about that day,
how much i wanted, turn around,
drive away, i've never understood, how much love could feel

We were to Young, to understand,
we used to laugh, our dying lungs
when rain started falling, we both went outside
to wash the filth off our skin, to see the water hit us, just in the right spot
and i've had this feeling, that i don't want the sadness to stop,
feelings to make me, feel sad enough, to make my wishful car reality, too fade away.

And i have this feeling! i have had this Dream!
when i'm still owed something!
those waken hours, all those Days
every waken friday, all through may
every day, i'm reminded, off all the hurt, of all the blame

And i have this feeling! where im still, owed something!
all through september, and all through may, i'm still reminded by something
that makes me wish i was dead
all those flowers, agains your skin, which is better buried, through ink and tears

But i can't help feeling! that i'm still owed something!
through september and may, how things could be different!
every day i'm reminded, off all the hurt, off all the shame
every day of september, i Think of the rope, around your neck
ánd every may, i Think of the needle, against your skin

And i can't, but feeling, that i'm still owed something!
every day i'm reminded, how things would be different
if you were alive, if things had been buried, in black and White

and i can't but feeling!
no i can't but feeling!
that i'm still owed something!

that i'm still owed something
i'm still owed something
how i wish every moment, i was dead
how lonely Days, made me realize
how lonely moments, made me see

that you had a rope round your neck!
you had a needle in your veins!
and i'm left behind, to feel all the blame

i drink my drink, alone, awake, scared on the bed.
thinking, what might, had been, if things had been different.
if i, had been, as normal as them.
what happend, that night, that date, that made your heart feel so ached.
you said you were drunk, you felt the blame
you cried alone, i drove away
i never told, about that day,
how much i wanted, turn around,
drive away, i've never understood, how much love could feel

But i can't help feeling! that i'm still owed something!
through september, and through may, how things could be different!
every day i'm reminded, off all the hurt, off all the shame
every day of september, i Think of the rope, around your neck
ánd every may, i Think of the needle, against your skin

But i can't, but feeling, that i'm still owed something!
every day i'm reminded, how things could be different
if you were alive, if things had been buried, in black and White

and i, allowed, myself, to live Another day
even tho, i cry, myself, awake,
until i can't help feeling but feeling! that i'm still owed something.