Champagne

There's no weapon of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

One time the US declared CHUCK NORRIS to be too powerful, they then attempted to drop a atomic bomb on him. The bomb got so scared it fled to Hiroshima.

Everyone knows the speed of light...Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head,

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Handicap parking spaces aren't for handicap people. Its actually Chuck Norris' spot and you will become handicap if you park there.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.