tjenalinas blogg

"Fuck missing you
at 3 in the morning.
That’s not what
missing someone
is all about.
I missed you
yesterday at 1:27 pm
after I’d just left school,
right after seeing you.
I missed you
at 2:37 pm
when I was buying
myself food
with my family
and I wondered
how lunches were
in your family.
I missed you
at 5:13 pm
when I was
working out
on my treadmill
and blasting out
I Have Nothing
by Whitney Houston.
I missed you
at 7:45 pm
when I was watching
reruns of Friends
and I pondered over
what you could be doing
at 7 at night.
I missed you
at 10:56 pm
when I should’ve been
in bed already,
but instead
I still waited for you
to text me
and tell me
for the very first time
that you finally
missed me.
But I don’t miss you
at 3 am,
but not because
I don’t love you,
but because I then know
you don’t love me.
And I’m tired
of missing people
who don’t miss me.
"You will miss him no matter 
how nicely or how badly he 
treated you and no matter 
how long or how little you 
had him you will miss 
him and you will want him 
to be the one that comforts
you and you will want to know 
why he did this to you and you 
will scream at the world and be 
angry even at the flowers that 
grow from the soil of the earth 
and you will collapse on the floor 
like a leaf falling from its tree and 
you will feel lost like a tourist in a 
foreign city and you will feel so 
numb that you will have to check 
if your heart is even beating and 
I am not going to sugarcoat it for 
you and I am not going to tell you 
that he will come back and lift you 
out of your grave because the truth 
is you will have to stitch your body
back together and you will have 
to be the one that cleans the 
waterfall of tears that have 
splashed your cheeks and no
matter how much you wish 
for him to come back you will 
have to learn that most stars 
are already dead in light-years 
and you have to be the one 
that fixes your own gears of 
your contraption because
you are the only one that can 
swim when you are drowning 
in your own blood."



I hate you

han är så himla värd det.

haha jag har typ gjort bort mig totalt, jag gillar verkligen den här killen, verkligen verkligen verkligen, men nu är det liksom tre personer att välja mellan?? Nyss ville jag inte ha någon alls, men nu mår jag bättre, haha jag bryr mig inte ens om dom längre? Alltså, hah.

Jag ville nyss inte ha någon, för att han fick mig att hata kärlek.
Men nu, nu vill jag ha alla. Jag vill ha G,A och J, så vad ska jag göra? Hah, och ingen av dem funkar att vara med heller.
Jag får väll helt enkelt hålla mig till att ha dem som toyboys ;)
Sen att maaaah looord accepterar det är ju bara bäst.
Sebbe skrev till mig igår också, har inte pratat med honom på länge sen allt hände med honom/oss. Men antagligen mår han bättre nu och kan prata med mig. Det är bra, alla är bra, jag är bra, amanda är bra, gustaf, jocke, alex, sebbe, mamma, alla är så braaaa!

Idag ska jag umgås med Palle och kanske Gustaf senare, underbara underbara dag.
Har märken sen igår, har märken sen i fredags, har ont i halsen pga hårda tag och allt bara är underbart. Hihi
mvh / Glad tjej

varför varför varför

ångest ångest ångest jävla helvetes jävla fitta.
VARFÖR

I’ve realized something tonight. I realized that I’m over you. I’m finally over you. I swear this time I mean it. In fact, I’ve been over you for quite some time and I didn’t even realize it! I think my “feelings” or whatever you want to call them for you faded away last month and I didn’t even notice. Tonight, I decided to give it a shot talking to you. Once I did, I laughed and said to myself “Why did I just do that? I know he doesn’t care!” And that is when it hit me. If you don’t care, I don’t care. Why should I waste my time liking/wanting someone who doesn’t care about me!? It’s silly! All those times missing you, wanting you, sleepless nights, and tears aren’t worth it! For once in a long time, I feel completely happy. I’m starting to find things out about myself and who I want in my life. And you sir, are not one of them. I do wish the best for you though. I hope you have a nice life and maybe one day we’ll see each other again. Until then, goodbye old friend. :)