Body image

My mother just compared me to my sister, again. My sister is slim and beautiful in every single way. Me on the other hand, I'm chubby, but if you ask me on the right times, I think I'm lovable. I think everybody that have siblings, especially if there's not that big of an age difference between you, can agree with me on the fact that there's a constant friendly competition between you and your siblings. But as we all know, it's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. My mum is an amazing woman, but because of her lac of filter between her mind and mouth, she doesn't realize that what she says can hurt somebody. I know that she'd never do that to me on purpose, because she'd been through the exact same thing since she is on the heavier side herself.

I'd a major weigh loss two years ago. I accepted my body, I was active (not much, but still), and ate what I felt for. Still I kept on loosing weight, because I accepted me for begin me. After this, people seemed to like me more, which I can't understand. I was still the same one inside, why give me a chance now and not when I was 20 kg heavier? I became obsessed with my body, and started caring more and more about what I put in my mouth. I was so scared that people only liked me because I was skinnier. Begin healthy is great, until a point where you get obsessed. I got obsessed on not gaining weight, but my body got stressed and started to work against me. I gained weight again and was back on the beginner's line. During this time I developed Orthorexia nervosa, which is an eating disorder few people have knowledge about. Ortheorexia nervosa is about eating as healthy as possible. This made me obsessed with calories, carbs, fat and sodium. I stopped going out to dinner with friends and family because I didn't know what they put in my food, and if I did I normally chose a meal with loads of vegetables and didn't ate my rice or my potatoes.

I still try to over come this, and slowly it's working. But begin compared to someone skinner than you it's like a kick in the stomach. Please believe me when I say it's not okay to say "oh, you're so skinny", because it's not. You never know the person's history, if she/he is okay with it and so on, and it's been a lot of focus on this lately. But please remember that it's not okay to say something that hints to the person begin big either. Just as the skinny person you don't know where she/he comes from and their story. If people could mind there own business, I'm pretty sure the world would be a better place. I know it's not easy, but hey…someone has to be the first one, why not you? Keep on remanding yourself that you're beautiful, and there's never going to be a single human begin looking just like you again. Why waste all your beauty, kindness and intelligence on finding flaws in yourself and others? You're better than that, right?


All I see is beauty