thinking.....

kl 09.38
Hujja . where to begin. To start with, i think i laid in the bed for 2,5 hours speaking to myselfe last night thinking and wishing you would hear me.
for some damn reason i could not fall asleep!?!?!!!?
It thundered all night long almost and it was raining like HELL!?! how could i ever sleep to something like that all alone?

so i had this idea.

i started to talk to myselfe all about my problems and thoughts. and yes that kinda took me 2 and a half hour, and yet there was more.
i was thinking a lot too. only about you.
Thinking and wishing you well. Hoping that you're doing fine. Hoping that for some reason you would think of me too.
so as i laid there speaking loudly to myselfe , hugging my blanket and pilows . I've must have sounded crazy?! a good thing tho it was raining to loud.

Every question i had, you were the answer.
you know , it has only been a while since we first met, but it feels like ive known you my whole life.

i was a sad girl. a lonely girl. and as i thought of it not getting any worse it did. But you came along. rescued me from my lonelynes.
it was like the best valentine day of my life.
we were talking about how sad and lonely valentines day always used to be. but you know what?
it wasnt anymore.
it was lovely, happy and it contained you and me.
we spoke for like 10 hours straight!??! it was AMAZING!

Bot nothing compared to the first time we met. The first hug you ever gave me was like totaly amazing even tho it only were seconds , to me it was seconds of happiness. your hug was so warm and comfy. and i didnt feel that lonely anymore

even tho you had to give up a job just to meet me, im grateful .
you didnt have to say godbye to your old frends, you got to meet a new one. witch was me..

But right now, You could have an amazing job and lots of money. You could have been in ireland meeting new and lovely people. and tho you choose to stay. But then you turn to me, look me in the eyes and smile.
You dont even have to say a word. But your eyes speak for themselfes. Your eyes is like the most pretty and most beautiful eyes i've ever seen.
The first thing i look at , when your awake is you eyes, and then i state the fact that your eyes changes colors all the time. but mostly they are brightly blue.
You have like the most cutest nose ever witch i like to pick on ^_^
the most beautiful smile. cutest laughter witch always makes me laught with you .

you have this special power of making me believe that one day everything will be fine.
that one day, i wont be draged down by my own sickness.


what i dont understand is that you still by me even how much i yell at you, how much i puch you away. you always be there, smiling at me trying to make me laught no mather how much i want to cry.
you always stand by me ..
you've become someone really important to me. not only my Boyfriend. But a true friend.
someone i came to rely one.
to me you're not just a somebody.
You are My dream. And i love you, like i've never loved anyone else.

i found it hard to find the words to express mysselfe. . . . kl 11:50