The tale of the humble Mirakel Matte

First off all there's one thing you need to know about Mirakel Matte before we step into this marvelous tale. He is tall, pale as the virgin snow. His eyes are blue but deep and empty. You notice him easily because of his uniqe haircut. It's as orange as a pureblooded gingers, cut perfectly in a shiny bowl like Rock Lee from Naruto. He wore no robe over his pale torse, that was swamped by pimples. He were Bjorn Borg(A famous brand in Sweden) underwear and some baggy ripped dude jeans. His feet where bare since he never had the energy to put on shoes. Why no energy? It's in fact a quite simpel question and it will recive the response when this humble tale begins..... NOW

Mirakel Matte where up with the sunrise, it was a good day and the birds sang in the few trees that enchanted the concrete jungel of Bergsjön where Mirakel Matte lived. He drew his lazy ass out of his bed and took his pants from the chair of fuzzy twinkly times. With a joint resting natrually by his left cheek he bagan the morning exercise, cock push ups. Tho a few men are able to preform such an acrobatic masterpiece as cock push ups no man can do the cock push up that Mirakel Matte does. Why? Because Mirakel Matte don't push him self up. Oh no. He pushes the earth down. This was the day when IT would ocur, The battle with Burgrand the Ballscratcher.

So ends The tale of the humble Mirakel Matte, Chapter 1.