The dreams

The first nights i dreamed about the woman that was supposed to be my mother, she was kind and she hugged me and in that instance i just missed her so much. When im awake i don't miss her but in my dreams im just a child that misses her mom.

She was kind, happy and i felt safe around her. It was everything i had tried to tell myself she was my whole life. The truth is the dream just shows what i always wanted, i never felt safe with my mother or like i was enough.

The dream last night was different, she was as in my previous dreams but soon the image started to feel and become more accurate to the real person. Slowly turning into a nightmare where i was so much younger my past image of dream mom had turned into the mom i now see with my eyes when im awake.

The outside see her as charming and see me and my siblings as ungrateful brats, she is sure charming but she leaves out alot of flaws and details.

Beating children, animal abuse, telling her own child she wish she hadnt given birth to her, beating her husband, calling her own daughter she is a slut, manipulating, and mental abuse.

I never had a mom, and that thing that gave birth to me is dead for me. It's not a mother it's a parasite.