fu

I hate this shit

I thought it would be easier if I let you go. I needed to collect my past, to forget before I move on. But I knew that it would take to long, so I let you go to find someone who can be with you all the time, without shame and regret. I didn't really wanted that. Deep inside, I did not want to leave you to someone else. When I think about it, what we had was not enough. To you, or to me. But that dosen't change that I still love you. You are the fire. All those fairy tales are full of shit. Don't except me to be fine, I don't except you to care.

Seeing everyone around me, happy with their crush, love, partner, whatever you want to call it, it's like a stab into my heart. I always think that you and me could have had that right here, right now. Where did you go? Why did I let you go? I know oh so well why I let you go, but... I will always think like this: What if it would have changed, what we had to something more greater? Impossible. You're red, I'm black. I'm white, you're blue. Too different. You can't lock me inside a cage like an animal. I belong to a special someone, who's resting in the peace in heaven. I can't let him go, not yet. You will someday understand that. "You, who are always loved by everyone". If you only knew how many people love you. If you knew how many people hate me. I will never cry for you, you don't know my past, my scars. I though you could take them away. Guess I was wrong. You only make it worse.

I will move on, I will let you go. The journey there is like walking on glas barefoot. But I am willing to cross it, just to feel alive again.

HERP DERP, depressed sheit!