A "confession" to make

Let me start with saying :sorry.

I've fought for a long time, I've seen things, done things and tried things I wouldn't want for my worst enemy. I'm not a hero nor a villain though some might see me as one, I'm just a guy who wants to do the best for those I hold dear but that I failed. I tried to do what I thought was best for her (at the given point in time) but I misjudged and that led to her hating my guts and I can't nor will I blame her. I wouldn't say she hates me, just strongly despises due to the fact that I hate myself.

I fucked up so badly that I would say I should die from it even though I'm a man and we do tent to fuck up a lot. And of all my fuck ups this is the worst. And to be honst Idon't know nor recall what happend but I hardly care.

I doubt that she might even bother to read this if she found it, some might laugh at me other just tell me to go die etc etc.

And yes I would love that if I can speak freely, I would love to die sense I got nothing left(kinda my own fault) but I got nothing to fight for. I might seem alright on the outside but the inside and my heart have given up, the faster it comes the better for us all.

But even if that will happen my Norse Gods will refuse me and be sent off to Hell. But if that if what is my fate now I take it and maybe just maybe I won't come out as dead I have foreseen.

Sorry.....