ApocalypseMeow



Kille, 23 år. Bor i Täby, Stockholms län. Är offline och var senast aktiv: Idag 03:46

My self-summary
I'm considered by women to be 'manageable'. Many have attempted to tame me, and all have succeeded in a matter of days. I'm like an old baseball glove, beaten down by life with a lingering leathery musk. It's completely coincidental that I cover my body in mink oil daily. Some people call me Mr Compromise, wasn't my first choice for a nickname, but I can live with it.

What I'm doing with my life
I'm thinking of opening a topless cleaning service for women. I would parade around older women's homes lightly dusting their trinkets. I would wear white gloves and cutoff jeans. Nothing else. The old birds would purr as I would wipe my feathers across their chine, making subtle eye contact. I would see the sadness in their eyes, longing for the touch of another. Sweat would be on my face as she bends over to pull up her diabetic socks. After the brief, shameful sex, she would pay me in quarters and ask if I need a ride home.

She would always sneer at me out of the corner of her mouth as if she knew something I didn't. The brandy would slowly drip from her swirling glass, staining the new white carpet. "Better wipe that up," she would purr. Here ancient, gold teeth shimmering in the hot autumn sun. As I bend over to wipe the floor, she abruptly stops me. "No honey... here," as she gestures to her antique loins.

I'm really good at
Filling out dating site information and correctly making lists! I'm good with numbers and will totally do your taxes ;) (that was sexual).

Everything I am good at is nearly worthless. I can hit a fastball, skate backwards and solve differential equations. I can build a computer from scratch but don't ask me why your laptop has a virus (your dad was looking at naked ladies).

I can twerk. No not the dancing motion. Twiddlin' my tits at work.

The first things people usually notice about me
My ridiculously long eye lashes. Food gets in them a lot. I stare a lot. It's not that I'm rude or have special needs, I'm just interested how some individuals have lived as long as they do.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I really want to say books are for prisoners. Talented Mr. Ripley. Game of Thrones. LOTR. Crime and Punishment. Sam Harris. Dan Dennett. Kurt Vonnegut. I like my metal loud, my NPR boring and Taylor Swift dead. Pandora is nice, do I look like an arrogant DJ? I want Thai food so spice it makes my face numb.

The six things i could never do without
1.) Jebus (correct spelling).

2.) Craigslist missing connections.

3.) Coffee.

4.) Interwebz.

5.) Pizzas over 16 inches across.

6.) Butts. I like butts.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sunshine. Just kidding, puppies. Math. Yes, you read that correctly. I don't understand how to throw a disc golf disc correctly. My favorite quote is "Är det så här när man är kär när man är liten,
hur blir det då när man blir kär när man blir stor"

On a typical Friday night I am
I usually find the worst bar and put on Miley Cyrus party in the USA to get the night started properly. From there I tell the drink drone to keep bringing me whiskey until I have the courage to order chicken fingers. 30 minutes of shame. Cigarette to bring it down. More whiskey to wash away the menthol. The most difficult part of Friday night is when you realize it's Tuesday afternoon.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit
Head injuries have limited my memory. What was the question? My computer has sufficient graphics memory.

I'm looking for
* Girls who likes guys
* Ages 17-22
* Near me
* Who are single
* For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

You should message me if
Most people don't reply to my ridiculous messages. I get that. But you're wrong and I hate you.

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LivetLeker Tjej, 19 år

Haha ja! :D