Liquidinfernos blogg

Sick and tired of people taking me for granted.

40 cm of snow.. I WALKED TO THE STATION IN 40 CM OFF SNOW ONLY TO WAIT 1 HOUR FOR A TRAIN THAT BARELY EVEN MOVED.
IT TOOK ME 3 AND A HALF FUCKING HOUR TO GO FROM POINT A TO POINT B. A JOURNEY THAT USUALLY TAKES ME 12 MINUTES...

*very pissed*

I don't like SL, I never have, never will.

Not being able to sleep is not unusual in my life. It's rather normal actually. I usually don't think about it much, I pick up a book, read it, finish it and pick another one up.
But tonight is different, I want to sleep.
I want to sleep and wake up in the morning when the alarm goes of. Eat breakfast and get ready for school, I want to be strong enough to get through an entire day without relapses, without medication or anxiety attacks.
That's something I want. no. I need. I need to get through a day without feeling worthless or wanting to relapse or worse, kill myself. Ugh. And I need to sleep an entire night without waking up.

As I see the watch ticking by I get more depressed about not being able to fall asleep because I'm afraid of my nightmares. I'm afraid of even trying to fall asleep.
So, instead i'm watching my clock ticking, watching seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours. Realizing that I'll probably won't go to school tomorrow because I'll feel as crap. And then I'll feel anxiety taking over because I know that my grades will drop due to low attendance.

Ugh. I really just want to sleep and not having to deal with the people in my head.

So today was suppose to be my day off. I was suppose to meet a friend and go shopping but then my friend cancelled and my boss called me, giving me tons of PR to do.
PR is cool, It's not that hard but really I was looking forward to a nice, non working day. But well, planing events, designing flyers and posters ain't so bad. Not while being accompanied by a warm cup of coffee and gummy bears.

I need these plugs.