Badluckbursells blogg

Känner mig gladare och piggare nu när man har börjat jobba har fått in rutiner för jobbet och känner att jag tar mig framåt i livet och kan börja göra saker och kunna roa mig saker utan att behöva vända och vrida på allt :D

när alla runt om kring har det bra och man bara står och trampar vatten i botten av brunnen och försöker att inte gå under så undrar folk varför man inte är så taggad på att göra saker så man känner att man knappt orkar göra något men slänger på ett glatt ansikte för att underlätta för alla andre så att dom inte oroar sig så mycket eller frågar en massa jobbiga frågor varför man inte ler eller är så social med folk

Some may call it a curse
A life like mine
But others, a blessing
It's certainly a lonely life
But a fulfilling one at best
It's my cross to bear
And I bear it gladly
Someone has to take a stand against evil
Why should it not be me?

So I?m sitting here with ghosts again some are women mostly men
Telling me of times they have had
And I?m fantasizing about a hole in the ground
How and where I?m gonna lay myself down and still die at 27 like we planned

Then she saw the look in my eyes
And began to sing a song I won?t describe
"In another life we?ll be king and queen you and I"
Then she told me devil don?t cry

[Chorus]
Devil don?t cry
I know things get tough and sometimes you wanna die
But ?God needs an enemy and I need a guy?
And she told me devil don?t cry

At least not tonight

[Verse 2: David Gunn]
And I?m sitting alone again
All my friends are with their friends
Thinking of times we have had
And I?m fantasizing about a hole in the ground
How and where I?m gonna lay myself down and I find a knife in my hand

Then she saw the look in my eyes
And began to sing a song I won?t describe
"In another life we?ll be king and queen you and I"
Then she told me devil don?t cry

[Chorus] x2

[Bridge]
Tonight let?s pretend I?m a man
And you?re a woman and we?re human just bones and this skin
And I?ll pretend that your touch makes everything right
If you pretend you?re not nervous that I?ve taken lives...

det är aldrig kul när ångesten kickar in igen har haft det bra när den inte kickade in och inte hade någon ångets på ett bra tag men nu är den tillbaka och det är så sjukt jobbigt det är inte så många man kan prata med men när typ ingen svarar och det är så här sent på natten är det som jobbigaste vet inte vad man ska göra...

Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can't deal, it's so unfair


And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it feels, yeah, it feels like
The world has grown cold, now that you've gone away

Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
Black roses and Hail Marys
I can't bring back, what's taken from me

I reach to the sky
And call out your name
Oh, please let me trade
I would

And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away
And it stings, yeah, it stings now
The world is so cold, now that you've gone away

I REMEMBER ALL THE TIME WE SPENT
I REMEMBER ALL THE NIGHTS WE HAD
I REMEMBER ALL
I REMEMBER EVERYTHING

I REMEMBER I REMEMBER I REMEMBER EVERYTHING

HEAR MY WORDS
HEAR THESE WORDS
EVERYTHING IS WORTH
MUCH MORE MUCH MORE
EVERY DAY YOU´LL LIVE WITH THE PAIN
IT WILL NOT GO AWAY
OH GO AWAY

LIFE EQUALS PAIN

ALL OUR LIGHTS
WILL FADE
FALLING AGAIN
BROKEN AGAIN
OH
WE´RE FALLING AGAIN BROKEN AGAIN

Don't want to turn off the light
Hope someone hears me tonight.
I know there's a snake in my bed
Eating its way through my head

I want to be normal, I want to feel safe
Waking up screaming, it's always the same.
I don't want to turn off the light
Hope someone hears me tonight.

Hold me, tell me everything's ok.
Show me there's a way to beat the monster
Save me, make it go away.

I'm trying to wash of the stains,
try not to think about the pain
I know I've got no place to hide,
God knows the times that I tried

I want to be normal, I want to feel safe
Waking up screaming, it's always the same.
I don't want to turn off the light
Hope someone hears me tonight.

Hold me, tell me everything's ok.
Show me there's a way to beat the monster
Save me, make it go away.

Hold me, tell me everything's ok.
Show me there's a way to beat the monster
Save me, make it go away.

Ooooooooh, oooooooooh, ooooooooooh, ooooooooooh.

I want to be normal, I want to feel safe.
Waking up screaming, it's always the same.
I don't want to turn off the light.
Hope someone hears me tonight.

Hold me, tell me everything's ok.
Show me there's a way to beat the monster
Save me, make it go away.

Hold me, tell me everything's to ok.
Show me there's a way to beat the monster
Save me, make it go away.

nu var det dags igen. dag tre utan sömn sover inte många timmar på grund att det känns som att väggarna sluter sig runt mig och jag försöker klättra upp men det är som att något drar ner mig i en svart avgrund vet inte hur länge det kommer att hålla mig flytande, jag vågar inte berätta för någon hur man mår vill inte att någon ska må dåligt över hur jag mår så sluter allt inom mig och målar på ett falsk leende och låssas som att det inte är något som är fel. känns som jag inte är värd något och bara är i vägen för allt och alla jag orkar snart inte mer och bara låter mörkret ta över och bara försvinna in i mörkret och låta allt försvinna klara snart inte vara stark och låta den inre demonen ta över och göra som den vill.
Är trött på det här och kommer att bli det svarta fåret som jag alltid har varit. försöker hjälpa alla men kan inte ens ta hand om mig själv så och kan inte ens hjälpa mig själv

inte igen nu kickade ångesten in på högsta växel har knappt kunnat sova på typ hela veckan och jag mår riktigt piss och kan inte riktigt uttrycka hur jag mår vill inte att mina vänner ska tycka synd om en vill inte visa mig så här igen

I?m fortunate to know more good people than most do
I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to
I?m pretty good at like 20 different skill sets
At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I wish this beat hit harder
I wish more syllables rhymed
I know 99 percent of people really don?t mind
I think collaborating forced me to finish things ?cause
I was terrified of wasting famous people?s time

I wish I could focus on what I define priority
I wish I was as grateful as I want to be
I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable
But if I did, I wouldn?t let them waste their time on me while I?m disabled

I feel alone
I know I?m not
I used to talk to lots of people. Lately I?ve stopped
They didn?t deserve it, I?ve been a terrible friend.
I couldn?t bear to let myself become boring to them

I don?t let myself get my hopes up. I love people who do.
Ah, I never know if what I say I feel is the truth
I wish I didn?t instinctively try to be less specific
So more people could relate when they read along with the lyrics

I can be happy in the moment
I am not when I reflect
I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better
I hate it

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt
But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

I can?t predict what I?ll do. I can never be sure
I am terrified of making promises any more

It's not fair, I found love
It made me say that
Get back you'll never see daylight, If I'm not strong, it just might
It's not fair, I found love
It made me say that
Get back you'll never see daylight, If I'm not strong, it just might

They figure me a dead motherfucker, but I'm just a motherfucker that want to be dead
$now Leopard with the lead in his head
Turning me into a sweater
Bitches use me as their fucking bedspread
I be the silhouette of a sunset
Smoke a cigarette while I compress my depression
Stare into the violet fluorescent lights makes me violent
I'm trying to get the highest I can get before I overdose and die
My ribs are nothing but an empty cage
Black hole in my chest
Big bang
Yung Plague on the tip of a wave
In my head it feels like I'm a guest so I will throw it all away because when I am dead I will be nothing decomposing in a grave
I'm matter but I don't matter
I can feel my skull shatter from the dull chatter
Brain splattered on the wall
Grey stains won't dissolve
Now I have to paint it all


It's not fair, I found love
It made me say that
Get back you'll never see daylight, If I'm not strong, it just might
It's not fair, I found love
It made me say that
Get back you'll never see daylight, If I'm not strong, it just might

Always boasting my emotions
On how I'm so fucking broken
Think I'm joking
When I'm talking
About blowing my head open
Till the moment you walk in
And find my body motionless
Wrists slit
Thoughts of $lick keep falling in an open pit
Shit
Always burn my bridges
Cause I'd rather fall in ditches
If life's a game of inches
Then my dick has been the biggest
And my goal's to fuck the world
Until that motherfucker's twitching
Lane switchin'
Same mission
To die and blame my addiction
Bitch

It's not fair, I found love
It made me say that
Get back you'll never see daylight, If I'm not strong, it just might