a clockwork orange

Skrev nyss ett ASLÅNGT email till min lärare om varför jag inte har lämnat in min senaste sociologi-essä om A Clockwork Orange. Det här tog mig så JÄVLA lång tid och det är mitt i natten men YOLO en har ju sina prioriteringar. (jag vet, jag är fett kiss-ass men jag tycker att det är kul okej så håll käft)

Your humble narrator had a rather bezoomny dream the other nochy, in which all the teachers at the skolliwol of Kungsholmen came dressed up in the same white patties as Alex and his droogs in that one film(bog knows what it’s eemya is)! Any how, when I woke, my gulliver was filled with the utmost poogly thoughts, because I remembered that I have to prod that god damned essay that was due last semester. And it has to be real horrorshow, too, otherwise I won’t get a dobby grade, isn’t that right, professor? A young devotchka like me could do with a good grade to cheer up the old jeezny a little.
Now, I will admit, it wasn’t very oomny of your trustworthy narrator to leave this to the very last minute, but I had my reasons. Malchicks and pischa and what not. I am trying to cheer the douce up and not be such a darn skoot all the time, and get things done. I can’t just stay in my cantora all day and listen to Ludvig Van, now can I? Now, as I’m sure you’re a good chelloveck, you won’t scorn me too much for being late and stuff with this, because bog knows I am interessovated in social studies! It’s just that my jeezny is a malenky up side down for now.
Enough chepooka, and on to try to write this damned essay.
It would be real horrowshow if you could pony that I really am trying and I really will hand in that essay. It’s just taking me some raz.
Appy-polly loggies for disturbing you, I hope your holidays have been nice, that you’ve had tons of dobby mounch and that your gulliver has had enough rest.

Viddy well, mr *********, viddy well.
Take care
Tove Falk ES2B

PS: You may need to search deep into the caverns of your bookshelves and dig out a Clockwork Orange to translate this.
PPS: It took me longer to formulate this email that it would have taken to finish the essay. It’s all about motivation, isn’t it?