Oh weak little soul why won't you die?

I've always lived with the belief that when you die, you just simply die and cease to exist. The moment you die you stop to exist, you don't exist, you've never existed and you'll never exist.
So everything one simply do, is pointless, 'cause one day, we will never had existed.

Today I hade almost made up my mind (eh, fuck it, none of us will exist later, and everything sucks, I don't want to feel, see and so on. So I'm gonna kill myself, I didn't know how. But it felt right :I)

Buuuut, the only thing that has been stopping me is how much it will hurt my family, but today I just felt like, eh, fuck it, they will die someday to and then this won't matter..
Also I'm a bit of a coward.

And then I came to think "What if I won't stop to exist, and I will be forced (somehow) to watch the pain I have caused my family"
So I was like, nope, I'm gonna live.

All this in a couple of minutes, blargh.
I'm such a weak soul.