Zraas blogg



Kille, 32 år. Bor i Landskrona, Skåne län. Är offline och var senast aktiv: 53 minuter sedan

Zraa

Senaste inläggen

Just because :3
26 november 2013 kl. 00:31
Love
25 mars 2013 kl. 11:55
bara för att xD
29 januari 2013 kl. 20:55
worlds
14 januari 2013 kl. 18:52
Titel
19 november 2012 kl. 21:05
poems
10 mars 2012 kl. 19:22
Visa alla

Fakta

Riktigt namn: Dick Civilstatus: Singel
Läggning: Inte valt
Intresse: Nörda
Bor: Själv
Politik: Politik?
Dricker: Energidricka
Musikstil: Allt
Klädstil: Blandat
Medlem sedan: 2009-02-23

Just because :3

Kommentera och jag svarar i PM.
Skulle jag kunna va tsm med dig?
[] kom hit sötis!
[] absolut
[] ja
[] kanske
[] vet inte
[] nej
[] säger inte
[] tror inte det
[] FÖR LITEN :PPPPPPPP

JAG HAR:
[] chica chica bom bom med dig :$
[] kramat dig
[] pussat dig
[] pratat med dig
[] sett dig
[] sovit brevid dig
[] ätit med dig
[] dansat med dig
[] sjungit med dig
[] pratat i mobil med dig
[] SMSat med dig

Första gången jag såg dig tänkte jag:
[] wtf?!
[] vem är det där?
[] ok
[] söt
[] snygg
[] aboooooww
[] han/hon ska jag haffa

Om du skulle kyssa mig skulle jag
[] gråta
[] Svimma
[] Kyssa tbx ;)
[] Lätt dra mig dig hem till mig¨
[] Strula som bara den
[] kolla på dig som "vafan?"
[] :@
[] :$

Jag tycker du är:
[] vacker
[] cool :P:P:P:P
[] awesomeee
[] rolig
[]knasig
[] bara min Frukt!
[] snygg
[] söt
[] helt ok
[] gullig
[] fin
[] saknad
[] random
[] okänd

Du borde:
[] Stoppa tummen i röven o åka på armbågen:D
[] Skratta mer!!! :D
[] Säga att du älskar mig!
[] lämna mig ifred!
[] Låta bli att gilla det här:S
[] Lägga ut den i din blogg, så jag kan kommentera ^^



Love

Chasing love never works^^ I've tried, but what you get is just an illusion of love. The only real way to find love is pretty much letting it jump up and hit you in the head while you have no idea what's happening^^ you will hate it at first probably, but will come to enjoy it after a painful time (even if you don't get to be with him/her)^^
I've gotten to a point where I don't feel the need to say to the person that I love them or will always be there for her, I think about saying it, but when I stand there, talking to her, it just feels so pointless to say those things, because I know that the words don't mean anything. She already knows it, even if it isn't said. And she knows that I love her even if we aren't together, and just that knowledge makes it easier to be good friends with her, we can talk about everything and she knows that I just want her to be happy, so she can talk about absolutely everything and always get an honest answer, and the same goes for me. And that, I presume, means more to both of us then actually being together.
And no, we are not together, and might never be, but that does not matter to me anymore, My love for her is more than that, and she means more to me, so just being close to her, helping her to get happy, is more then enough for me.



bara för att xD

1. Bry dig om jag dog?
2. Vilja ha sex med mig?
3. Vilja se på film med mig?
4. Hata mig om jag ljög för dig?
5. Vilja festa ihop med mig?
6. Kunna kyssa mig?
7. Kunna krama mig?
8. Bli glad om jag dog?
9. Bli glad om jag sa att jag älskade dig?
10. Lägga in detta på din EC, så jag får svara på ditt?



worlds

My world is of balance
there is something not right, something that doesn't belong
I'm missing something, something important.
I'm confused.
I feel like I'm missing something
something I had
My worlds are out of order
I can't switch between them anymore
something that was very easy before
my world is off center
I can't find myself within it anymore
My world is my own
it's my escape
it's not reality, not the real one
but it's mine
I created it to live in, to belong
I used to only live in one world at the time
I only saw my own or the real one
I prefered my own
I had to learn to live in the real one
I had to addapt
in my own I could be my self
I didn't have to hide
I didn't need to be someone else
I was myself
The real world is not my own
I was just born there
I've always prefered my own world
I still do
but it's harder now
I need to do things in the real world
so I created a bridge
a bridge between worlds
and I learned
I learned to walk in between
to be in both at the same time
it was hard at first
and then it was easy
I saw things
things I shouldn't have seen
things that were, but hidden
I saw them, and I learned
learned from them
they thought me to see
see what I was never able to see before
I saw people
I saw their reactions
Emotions I never had
reactions I could never have guessed
I got uncertain again
didn't know what was happening
I saw people
and I noticed
something was wrong
something was missing
at first I could only see it
I wasn't like them
I was alone
I accepted it
I hade my own world
one where I was right
one that I understood and wanted
so I accepted it
and continued on
I could live in my own world
while surviving in this one
surviving was enough
I didn't need anything else
in a place I didn't belone
in a place that wasn't for me
I survived alone
but I was never lonely
I had my world
I found something in the real world
something that was right
yet still not
I tried to understand it
I tried to learn
I couldn't
I tried to live
not just surviving
people started to accept
they accepted the mask
they never saw me
I never show myself
I can't
I tried to mimic them
it worked
I figured out how they worked
how they felt
at least to a point
I still don't know why they felt it
or why it made them act
I mimic their feelings
I mimic their reactions
it's not me
I don't do that
they could never understand
I'm not myself
I pulled back
to my world
to a world I belonged
I lived there
I felt good there
I was pulled back to the real world
I don't like it here
I don't belong
never have, and never will
it's my hell
my prison
I wanted to go home
to my world
I watched
and I learned
I walked the edge again
not my world, and not the real one
but still both
they existed both at the same time
I could see them both
could live in both
I had found my balance
my gravitational point
I lived
I saw the real world
I reacted as I was supposed to
but I lived in my own
the world I created
the world for me
I was in both
could see both
the prison
and the freedome

the world is now broken
I can't walk between them
I can't return home
my world isn't there
not as it's supposed to
it's wrong
something is wrong
I'm missing something
something important
I can feel it in the real world now too
in my prison
it's pulling in me
I need it
I don't know what it is
I never knew
I want it
my world
my home
I can't return anymore
it's gone
the fragments of it is gone
only the memory is there
where my home should be
i have to live in the real world
the only world
it scares me
I've never felt fear
I've never felt much
emotions have always been a mysteri to me
something odd
something I didn't have
now I'm afraid
the real world is wrong
it's not where I belong
I can't live here
I need to get away
I can't
my freedome is gone
my hope is gone
I have to find something
something I've forgotten
either forgotten I had or forgotten to find
I need it
my world is there
my freedome
I can't live without it
I can barely survive
it's hard
surviveing is not easy anymore
I was before
when I hade my freedome
I was never lonely before
even when I was alone
now I am
even around people
I don't understand anymore
I can't see
they are there
I interact with them
but I can't see them
they can't see me
only my mask
they think that's me
it's not
I'm gone
I'm traped
I want to get out
but I can't find myself
I'm gone
the world have hidden me
it's hidden my world
I can't find it
it's gone
I'm lost
I want to get home
it's suffucating me
I can't live here
the world is rejecting me
I need to get back
I can't
I'm trapped
I'm alone
I've never been alone before
I've never felt fear
I do now
it's eating me up
driving me insane
I might already be
it hurts
I've never hurt before
not like this
this isn't pain
pain is easy
pain is not real
this is real
I'm hurt
I'm lonely
I'm afraid
I've never felt either before
now it bashes at my mind
no one sees it
no one can
my body isn't mine
it doesn't affect me
I don't affect it
we're seperate
but still one
I live in it
I control it
but it's not mine
it doesn't show
not the truth
I'm scared
I don't belong
not here
I want to go home
I want to be alone
I want darkness
I want nothingness
nothingness is better
nothingness is almost home
better then here
I need it
I crave it

My home is lost
I can't find it anymore
it's nowhere
I've searched everywhere
and everywhen
my memory is fadeing
it's slipping away
I try to hold on
but I can't
it's fadeing
I don't know how it was there anymore
I can't remember
I know I miss it
I know I belonged
but I can't remember
I'm loosing it
my home
my memory
I don't know what it looks like anymore
I can't remember
I used to know
something
something important
I need it again
I need to know
what am I missing
I can't find it
it's not there
I can't think anymore
I can't live
I need it
to survive
how do I survive?
I can't remember
what is life?
I don't know anymore
my life isn't
I'm not whole
something is missing
something important
I'm not even half anymore
I think I was
I think I remember that
I don't know
I'm empty
the fear is gone
but it took something else
there is only a hole now
a hole for something
something else
there wasn't a hole before
was it?
I can't remember
it feels empty
I can't fill it
I think there never was anything
I think I always was empty
nothing fills it
nothing fits
I'm alone
I'm empty
I'm confused
I wasn't confused before
I knew why it was
I knew
why is it?
why is anything?
I don't know
did I ever know?
did I ever understand?
I don't know
I used to
but I'm confused
nothing is right anymore
everything is wrong
even myself
everything is wrong
I think I'm insane
but how do I know?
I don't think I would
if I am, wasn't I always?
more or less
I don't belong here
everyone is wrong
they don't do what they're supposed to
the things they should
I am wrong
that I do know
the only thing I know
the only thing I feel
I can't change it
I never could
I want something
I don't know what anymore
I can't remember
but I need it
I always did



Titel

I hope you know that I love you no matter what, and that I don't expect anything from you.
Sometimes it feels like you love me back, and sometimes like you hate me.

I have questioned if we would work together sometimes, and every time you've made me feel stupid for those thoughts.
Every time I think I've figured you out you surprise me and do something unexpected. And I hope you will continue doing it.

I have gone back and forth in my mind, but I've always come to the same thought: "does it matter? I love her regardless".

The times I spend with you always makes me feel better then I did before, even if I sometimes feel stupid for whatever reason. When i'm with you I like to play the fool because I love your smile and your laugh. It makes me fell a warmth inside.

I will always be your friend, regardless of what happens between us. I do not expect you to feel the same way I do, but I hope that you someday will.

I love you



poems

I'm crying inside
as I look at you
My feeling i try to hide
I don't want you to know
You can't find out
The tears in my eyes
it's hurting you
you don't deserve it
I didn't deserve you
but you held on
even though it was painful
you held on
your tears began to fall
And the clouds began to cry
I'm holding back
Even though I can't let go
I hide my feelings
As I cry inside




Your voice,
Dark symphony in my veins
Coursing through me
From my heart to my mouth
Speaking those words
You once said
I love you my dear
Remember that
The words you spoke
They took their toll
Led me to believe
It was all my fault
When really you were
The one that was blind
Even though what you
Led me to believe
Was that you truly loved me
And now my blood runs clear
From the holes in my heart
As emptyness fills me
And I an torn apart
Left here with what you gave me
This wilted rose
In a broken heart