Luthors blogg

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The most dangerous criminal I've ever known has grown up sentenced to life serving time inside a maximum security prison that I call my rib cage.
From age nothing until now he has somehow managed to escape a total number of time and time again.
Which if I took the time to add up would equal every instance between now and then.
This is what happens when heart turns escape artist.
When heart refuses to let missed moments multiply themselves into a monumental waste until all that remains of the fraction of a life.
This is heart as Harry Houdini gently reminding me that as I child I planted bricks into the ground and grew walls.

These memories and others like them stem from giving away my today and having no tomorrows.
My yesterday's wear halos because they died when I was sentenced to life for killing time.
It once seemed sane that I once wished I was born without a rib cage so that my heart would be free to love you completely.
On the inside I am collecting the sharp looks you shot to me.
Through bars and bulletproof glass, through mass media and miss information, I am enrolling my lips in the higher education needed to speak your name with the same urgency we heard when we set off fire alarms and Richter scales.
In both prisons and jails I have sat in my cell passing the time of a life sentence by casting shadow puppets of doubt.
I have collected the sharp looks you shot to me.
They're what I'm using to tunnel out.

Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't kill ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.

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Kasta inte pilar i kuvös.

To all you who have called me Daddy over the years: Where the fuck my Father's Day presents at?

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Titta på alla, get big ol' feels.

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